dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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