Dual....:-)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
