You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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