He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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