went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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