The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
