Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
