It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this will be a night to untag.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
