How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
