i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
