I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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