you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
