I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
