I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
