I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
one might say we're banned from that church
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
