I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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