he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
3pm strippers are depressing
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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