Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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