can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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