You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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