Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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