Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
