You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
