worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize