I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
