I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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