That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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