hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Non-Jews are for practice
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
