And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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