Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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