marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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