This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
