i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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