he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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