I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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