Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
