So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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