i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
