Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're like the curious george of whores
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
