She announced her abortion via fbk
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
