Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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