He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
