I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just high enough for therapy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
