You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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