david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
