All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
