I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I lost the right to judge tonight
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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