We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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