garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
