3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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