ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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