I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were trust falling into bushes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
