Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dignity is for republicans.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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