Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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