Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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