My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
