D3 body, D1 cock
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
