She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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